


Rain Check Au

by Kneekeyta



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:17:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kneekeyta/pseuds/Kneekeyta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rae has a little chat with Finn's dad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rain Check Au

It was strange the last time she was at this door she was breaking not only her heart but the heart of the boy she loved. She breathed deeply steadying herself before knocking knowing when the door opened she’d be facing a man who probably hated her, she was after all the one who drove his son away, even if she didn’t admit it out loud she knew deep down he left because of her.

 

She counted to ten under her breath before rapping her knuckled timidly against the wooden door; she secretly hoped he wasn’t in, or that if he was in wouldn’t slam the door in her face. Maybe, he had time to simmer down, Finn had been gone for two weeks maybe he was settled in the idea of Finn being in Leeds.

The door opened mid thought to a surprised looking Gary Nelson.

“Erm,  uh, hi Gar..I mean Mr. Nelson.” Rae said.

“Rae! He said loudly, “this is a pleasant surprise, what are you doing here?” He asked his voice sounded a cheerful.

Rae figured he must have longed for some company if he was that excited to see her. She gathered he didn’t have many friends that Finn was a main source for his companionship. On the several occasions she had been over to his house Gary was always trying to get them to listen to one of his limited edition vinyl’s with him, Finn would always decline and tug on Rae’s hand and lead her up to his room, but what Finn didn’t know, was when she came around and during the rare times Gary would get to the door before Finn, he would mention how she missed out on listening to whatever limited edition vinyl he had been on about with him and Finn.

The knowledge of knowing Gary no longer had Finn to listen to music with made her heard wrench.

“I..um..uh just wanted to bring this by” she held out a small cardboard box.

She had been cleaning her room and found a few of Finn’s cds and also his necklace. She wasn’t sure how the subject of it missing never came up or if he didn’t even realize it was missing, but she was sure he must have missed it and she didn’t want to be the one to cause him anymore pain than she already had, plus she didn’t need any reminders of him, she thought about him enough already.

Gary reached out taking the small box from Rae.

“It’s just a few things that Finn left at my house, I..um don’t have his address in Leeds to send them to him, so..I..I thought you could get them to him” she said her voice trembling, as she looked down gripping the end of her leather jacket.

“Rae, you wanna come in, we never had that rain check, and I can make us some tea?” Gary asked opening the door fully and stepped back.

Rae looked up biting her lip mulling it over, but something in the way Gary was looking at her made her nod and take a step in, it was the look of a desperate man, the look of someone in need of company, his eyes glistening and almost pleading with hers.

She followed him to the kitchen where she sat at the small table looking intently at her hands as she heard him fumble around the kitchen getting the tea sorted.

“How have you been Rae, how’s your mum heard she’s expecting, y’know small town and that”

“Um, yeah she’s doing alright.” Rae spoke softly.

“Here you are, love, why don’t we take these into the lounge, I’ll put on that limited edition Brothers in Arms vinyl” he grinned at her.

“Sure, Mr. Nelson.” she smiled small at him.

“Rae, you can still call me Gary, y’know” he told her sympathetically.

Rae nodded, “alright”

Gary gave her a firm nod then both headed out the lounge. Rae sat on the sofa leaning against the arm some as she sipped her tea, she smiled Gary having made it just the way she liked it, and she wondered how she knew.

Gary turned around to see the smile on her face, “Tea to your liking then?” he grinned at her.

“Yeah thanks.” she said then took another sip.

“Good”

“Uh..um Gary how did you know how I like my tea?” She asked hesitantly.

“Oh, remember that day you came over and were supposed to stay the night?”

“Yeah” Rae said softly nodding.

“Well, when Finn came to find me I had been making tea in the kitchen, he had me make you two a cup as well, and was very adamant on how you liked your tea, I guess I just remembered” he chuckled and shrugged.

“Oh..” the word breathlessly escaped her lips.

She ducked her head down not wanting to look at Gary any longer for fear of the tears threatening to spill would release and she would break down a blubbering mess in front of her ex-boyfriends dad.

“You miss him?” Gary asked as he sat in the armchair across from Rae.

“Huh..?” Rae looked up at Gary from being lost in her own thoughts.

“Erm..uh..” she stammered.

“No, offense love but you look just about as bad as I did when I let my emotions run away with missing him.” Gary offered her a weak smile.

“Ahem, yeah, I miss him” Rae sighed, she took another sip of her tea and this time when she looked up she had to wipe a stray tear away from her cheek offering Gary a sad smile.

There was a long lull where neither was sure what to say, there was no way to comfort one another, to soften the blow of the person they mutually loved having left.

Rae thought that maybe she could at least offer him an apology if nothing else.

“I’m sorry I made him leave.” Rae spoke softly.

Gary sighed, “Rae, you didn’t make him leave..don’t believe that for one second”

A few tears released down her cheeks, “No, it was me, I broke up with him, I did it for him, I thought he could see that, I thought he would be better off without me, I love him too much to put him through what I’ve had to go through, what I still go through..” Rae stopped herself when she realized how much she had said, she wiped her tears away roughly setting her tea down on the side table.

Gary moved to sit by her offering her a comforting hand on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, please don’t, listen to me, I should go” Rae made to stand but Gary held her with a firm hand.

“Rae, please just wait..I feel..I-“ He trailed off thinking.

“You and Finn have a lot in common, not only music wise and the fact that you are great together, perfect in my book, but you both have the same issue with talking…” he said pausing for a moment.

“Now, Finn, he isn’t like me, he is definitely not a chatterbox and quite frankly he is shit when it comes to talking about how he feels, so he often leaves them until it’s too late…and from what little bit I’ve heard it seems that you do the same…”

Rae nodded sadly, feeling worse that Finn actually talked to his dad about her.

“Now, from what I’ve been able to string together from him you’re always bangin’ on about something, but it’s nothing about you…I mean, like Finn, you don’t really talk about how you are feeling, Finn said that you are good at making others feel important and special but no one ever really knows what’s going on with you..”

“He wouldn’t like me if he knew what was really going on with me” she sighed wiping away a tear.

“You won’t know unless you try.” Gary patted her on the shoulder.

“Thank you, Gary, thanks for talkin’ to me, but it’s too late for talking, it wouldn’t make a difference, I’m here and he’s..”

“Here” Gary said.

“What?” Rae looked at Gary furrowing her brows, he nodded looking over her shoulder.

She turned to see Finn with tears in running down his face.

“Finn..” his name escaping her mouth leaving her almost breathless.

“Rae..” he said shaky.

“I’ll just be in my office” Gary stood after giving Rae a tight squeeze on the shoulder, Rae watched as he passed Finn patting him on the shoulder before disappearing from the lounge.

Finn looked back at Rae she was fiddling with the hem of her plaid flannel now her eyes scrunched shut, he made his way to sit by her.

Rae sighed as she felt the dip in the sofa, she forced herself to at least open her eyes if she wasn’t going to look at him.

“I’m sorry” Rae whispered so low she it was sure Finn didn’t hear.

“For what exactly…for breaking up with me, for breaking my heart, for lying to me about being with that Liam guy, for ditching me to go to some party when I needed you..for what Rae, what are you sorry for?” he seethed his voice sounding more hurt then angry.

Rae took a deep shuddering breath, “for everything, just..I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done to you..”

“What e-even the good stuff?” he asked choking on his words a bit.

Rae shook her head, “Of course not, only for the bad.”

“You deserve better Finn, someone who–“

“Who what, makes me feel what, loved, breathless, weightless, who makes me fumble over the few words I have, someone who make me so nervous that I have to write on them to express my feeling so I don’t screw it up with words, someone who argues with me over music and doesn’t put up with my shit and gives me what for, someone I think about constantly and wonder if their thinking about me, wondering if I make their heart speed up and time slow down at the same time like they do mine, someone who I spend most of my days and nights dreaming about, someone who I love with a love I never knew existed..someone who makes me believe that I might be enough, someone who I can be myself around, someone who fits perfectly to my body, someone who –”

“Please..” Rae softly begged through her tears shaking her head.

“That Rae, I deserve someone like that…”

Rae stayed silent as her hot tears streamed down her face.

“I have a newsflash for you Rae, I already found a girl like that and she broke my heart…”

“I don’t think I could ever find someone like that again and even if I could I wouldn’t want it, I wouldn’t be able to cope it if she broke my heart, I wouldn’t be able to survive that twice…”

“I’m just going to go..” Rae said standing up quickly and headed for the door.

“Why Rae, I thought leaving is what I was good at” he seethed.

“Fuck you, Finn, you have no idea how much that hurt”

“Because you don’t let me in, you never let me in Rae!” he shouted.

“It’s easier that way!”

“You only think it’s easier for you Rae, and it’s not, you’re making things harder on yourself by not letting people in, I know because I’m the same way, you’re afraid to show that side of you because you think people will run, I know because I’m the same, we’re the same Rae..” he took a step closer to her.

“Like when you asked me if I missed my mum, and I said ‘yeah’, I should have told you why though, but I didn’t, I should have said yeah because she’s me mum, but I hate her because she left me and my dad to go have a new family and I feel like it’s my fault she left, that I wasn’t enough, but I didn’t say that because I was afraid..”

Finn looked away fiercely wiping his tears,

“Finn, it’s not your fault” Rae sighed.

“But she left me like it was nothing, and I thought what if I’m not enough for you either like I thought I was and you realize that and leave me, and you did..”

“Finn, you were more than enough for me, too good for me..like I said yo-”

“Fuck, what you think I deserve Rae, you’re what I deserve what I want.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying, I’m too messed up, I’m too…”

“You can talk until you’re blue in the face Rae it ain’t going to make a difference, no matter how hard you try to convince me I deserve someone better, because I’ve had the best and I’m ruined, you’ve ruined me, no one will ever come close to how you make me feel..to how much..I love you.” Finn ended bashfully.

“I love you, too, Finn, that’s why I want what’s best for you!”

“If you really loved me Rae, then you would be with me because that’s what’s best for me…I mean only if you wanna be with  me..” he trailed off.

Rae rubbed her hands over her face, she was tired of fighting and tired of missing him, she sniffed back her tears fiddling again with the hem of her flannel, “Okay..” she said barely audible.

“Huh?” Finn asked taking a step closer.

She brought her gaze up to his, “I said okay”

She barely got the last letter out and Finns lips were on hers, she sighed into the kiss her body relaxing after weeks of tension, she allowed her arms to wrap around his waist as he held her face in between his hands.

Finn was the first to pull away resting his forehead against her, “Please don’t say it if you don’t mean it, Rae” he spoke gently caressed her cheek with his thumb.

“I do mean it, I missed you so much it hurt to breathe.” she sighed.

“I know the feeling.” He told her with the utmost sincerity.

“Come on let’s go up to my room and have a chat” he smiled snaking his hand into hers.

They got to the top of the stairs and Finn pulled her to him for another long overdue kiss.

Finn smiled tugging her hand leading her to his room, then she thought about what she was doing, he moved to Leeds, what was he even doing back, was he just visiting, when was he leaving, would she be able to do long distance now that she’s just got him back?

When they entered his room it looked just the same as it did the last time she was there.

“Finn, why is all you’re stuff in its place?” she stopped in the middle of his room his stand still in hers.

“Oh..” he said bashfully while rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

“I didn’t get to finish what I was telling you..I was going to say someone who didn’t want me but I moved back for..because I couldn’t handle not being able to see her..” Finn looked at her longingly.

“Finn, I’m so-“

Finn shook his head, I’m sorry too…but no more apologizin’ Rae, let’s just agree to talk about how we feel even if it hurts..I always wanna know what you’re thinking, and for you to talk to me when you worry you’re pretty little head about something daft like me deserving someone who’s not you..alright..and I promise to be better with my words, I’m still figuring them out..”  

“I think you’re doing a damn fine job figuring them out, Finnley” she smiled at him running her hand along his cheek outlining the curve of his jaw.

“Well, I gotta keep up with you you do like to bang on..” he snorted a laugh.

Rae chuckled, “Watch it” she smirked at him.

“Why did you come over?” Finn asked curiously.

“Oh, I um found a few cds and your necklace..” she  
paused to run her hand over the dip in his collar bones where his pendant would lie.

“In my room and thought you would want them and I didn’t have your address in Leeds..so..”

Finn nodded, “I left my necklace there the night I came to see you about leaving..”

“The night I should have said ‘me’ that I was your reason to stay” Rae said sadly.

“I left it thinking if you found it you would come over to give it back to me and we could have a proper chat..but..” Finn trailed off.

“I didn’t…”

“I would have..”

Finn nodded sadly, “Its fine it took us a little while but all is right with the world.”

Finn guided Rae to the bed, Rae taking off her leather jacket before they both laid down, Rae rested her head on Finns arm her head tucked in tight to his chest as they talked. Finn told her about how he should have realized something was off that first day of college and the days after, how he should have tried harder in the pub instead of just kissing her. That dating Olivia and how it was just a distraction and how jealous he was of Liam, he told her about Leeds and how lonely it was, he didn’t hold anything back. Rae told him about Liam, about how they were in group together and how Liam did kiss her out of panic, but nothing else ever happened, she told him her feelings about Olivia how jealous she was. She told him about Saul and spent ten minutes calming him down after, then finally she told him about Tix.

A few hours later they woke up noses touching, “alright, girl?” Finn whispered gripping her tighter as he leaned in the short distance to connect his lips to hers. Rae pulled away tracing her finger lightly along his scar.

Finn sighed happily, “It’s good to be home” he leaned in giving her a chaste kiss.

Rae knew he didn’t mean his actual home, he meant her, because he was her home just as she was his, she knew he felt himself around her, just like she felt herself around him, even though both kept a lot of themselves from each other what they had shown was the most they had ever shown to anyone.

“Remind me to tell your dad thanks for the rain check..” she grinned leaning into kiss him.

“Rain check, what do you mean?” he asked pulling out of the kiss.

“Well, you see it all started when I bought this lingerie for campin and..”

“What you bought lingerie..for campin..are you wearing it now?” Finn asked cheekily snaking his hand down to the band of her jeans, he nearly had his hand under her panties when Rae stopped him.

“Fiiiinn, your dad is downstairs” she playfully scolded him.

“Oh, right, let me put on some music you do get quite loud” he grinned straddling over her giving her a quick kiss before hopping off the bed.

He turned around with a huge grin as the opening chords to _Spaceman_ blared out, “Really, Finn?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” he asked innocently as he straddled her again.

“You know it’s our song?” he grinned.

She rolled her eyes, “unfortunately, yes I do know that is our song”

Finn leaned down to kiss her, he positioned himself so he was laying half on top of her his right hand pulling down the zipper of her jeans, “Finn, I though you wanted to hear the story” she said pulling away from his lips.

“We have all the time in the world for talkin’.” he leaned down kissing her hard.

A moment later a gasp escaped her mouth into Finns.


End file.
